Realize
by Phiekers
Summary: Between the laughs and cries, truth and lies, time extensively flies. And when it's too late..is when you realize. AU.All Human..Edward and Bella have been best friends since second grade..But growing up effects us all...
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned it, but alas I do not.**

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**This is my first fanfic ever...Sorry if it's confusing...It's an All Human one (I know...sigh...how cliche)...The prologue is very angsty...Most of the rest of it isn't. And yes, I know there gives no mention of who is thinking the prologue...Completely intentional!**

**I'm going to make a big suggestion...if you get half way through the prologue and you aren't fussy on angst, and you don't like it...Skip it. Go on to Chapter 1 and give it a chance..The prologue is something that I wanted people to read, then put it out of their head. Oo yeah...if you do read it...make sure to think 'Can fate cease to exist?'**

**Just please..give it a chance!**

**Anywho...**

**Prologue**

I couldn't make sense of myself at this very moment.

I couldn't understand my sudden urges of feelings that were erupting like a three century year old, dormant volcano. Overflowing in hot bubble like fits of confusion. Yes, confused. That's how I would put myself currently at, confused but slowly seeping into something else. Something that I couldn't quite grasp yet. I saw my future (one of which I just moments ago, realized was mine) slowly slipping away, and all I could do was watch it go. Waving. Like an idiot.

This realization hit me like being slapped, unexpectedly. Though it desperately lacked the distraction of the pain that usually follows.

Distraction...

I would have gladly invited.

I yearned for a distraction. Anything to take away this nagging voice lodged within my head. It waged a vicious war against my body. Willing my feet to move, willing them to take me to where I wanted to be. However I knew it was a battle my feet were going to triumph in. They stayed so firmly in place, that, for a brief second, I believed they had grown roots. Roots that somehow managed to penetrate thick concrete then nestle itself deep within earth's core. I maybe even gave a darting glance down to make sure they hadn't, and maybe I was even shocked to find out it was my own self control that kept me there, not an anchor I was fighting against. I stayed here completely by myself.

Metaphorically rooted.

My selfishness sneered internally at my bravery and restraint. It wanted me to lose, and I knew it wouldn't give up easily. I acknowledged this and it was in that moment I learned a lot of my dirty laundry. Dirty laundry that I tucked away to an infinitely deep destination within 3 pounds of muscle and nerves, I call my brain.

Dirty laundry that I didn't want to face.

Dirty laundry that was a thousand times harder to except now that I had finally aired it out.

Yet I couldn't help but think, that if I hadn't been so in cased in my own insecurities, that I wouldn't have a problem right now. If I had been able to break my own self-assurance, I used as a façade to hide my insecurity, for just one split second; reality wouldn't be crashing down on me like an atomic bomb.

Stupid facade.

Now I had to deal with the fire that scorched within my chest cavity. Charring it a merciless, midnight black. I found myself wondering (most likely with glazed over eyes) if it would ever heal. Deep inside I knew it would. Heal like forest fire scorched earth after its first rainstorm, tiny little shrubs poking through and staining the blackness, giving it colour. But I knew it would never be the same. Like the scorched earth, it would always hold some sort of scar of its terrible past, even if that scar wasn't entirely visible through the vivid colour.

I completely ignored this logic; I wasn't ready to rebuild myself. I didn't want to fill my head with encouraging, self helping thoughts. I wanted to grieve. Grieve for something that had never happened. Grieve for something that I knew never would happen. How silly I was.

_Grieving_.

Blah.

It made me feel weak. However if I would have revaluated that notion, I would have discovered that it was my insecurities eating away at me again. Telling me that I wasn't allowed to be weak. I was supposed to be strong, and confident, a standard of society.

_Standard_.

Blah.

I didn't want to revaluate this right now. I figured that my insecurities had already tasted the best of me; there wouldn't be any harm in letting them slowly gnaw through the rest.

Stupid illogical logic.

I gave my head a quick, inconspicuous (or what I had wanted it to seem like) shake. Hoping I could stop thinking what I was thinking. Like an etch-a-sketch, trying to erase all those damn connecting lines, so that the larger picture didn't make sense. Although in my dilemma, the picture probably looked, at best, the work of a 3 year old that looked past the sand screen just to the fact that the two tiny white knobs actually created something when they were turned vigorously in every direction. Yes. THAT was what my larger picture entailed. Scribbles, scribbles, and more scribbles. Yet I couldn't help but notice that through the incoherent scribbles, there was one name that was woven in. It was what my mind's eye went to immediately when I envisioned it. It glared at me in a very tempting way. I knew my mind was really trying to toy with me then. Using those damn scribbles to make me cave. Rooted feet...rooted feet...rooted feet...I chanted.

Stupid mind.

It wasn't going to convince me though. I couldn't take away that smile. Plus it would hurt even worse if I was rejected. Rejection...Something that was new to me. I feared it greatly. Nothing to fear but fear itself. Right. Try being in love.

Rejection was definitely something that I didn't want to face. I'd much rather hang onto the string of torturous sanity I was loosely dangling from, than the fiery pits of rejection. There would be no colour in my rejection.

However, as I stood planted here, in what seemed like hours of contemplation but which was in reality only minutes, I finally knew I was letting go. Letting go of something that I had just realized, but knew I had known all my life. I was letting go of my present... My past...

My _future_...

On this thought, I couldn't do anything but smile. Such an odd thing to do, but I smiled a smile that skipped my eyes, but went straight to my was-going-to-be- future. I smiled to let that was-going-to-be-future know that everything was okay. That I understood.

Within that smile though, my mind got the last laugh.

Within that smile was etched so deeply, I thought it must have been shockingly apparent, the four words I ached to say.

Within that smile was etched...

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Yeah...That's all that you get of that. Chapter 1 will be a lot more upbeat...

The prologue will be wrapped up much later...as the story unfolds.

Review if you feel ever so inclined...I take critisim very well..So trash me at your own rate! (lol)


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: No own, no sue. Now that we've clarified that...**

**I thought I would release this a little more soon after the prologue than I was going to. Just because I think it might give a little bit more insight of where I'm going and so people aren't completely frightened by the angsty beginning! So yeah...I'm not going to plead for reviews...buuuuuut they are appreciated! (Also, you'll notice I like a lot of description...but there will be more dialogue once the story starts rolling...this and the second chapter are a lot of introduction**

**Chapter 1:**

The bane of my existence mockingly stared at me. It's beady, plastic glazed, black eyes implanting itself in my head, making me imagine all the different ways I could destroy it. There was a hardware store just a couple of blocks away, I'm sure they would have lots of different knick knacks that could solve my problem. Hammers, saws, make-shift slingshots. I could easily rid myself of this horrid nightmare.

The nightmare which is the duck alarm clock.

It was a disgustingly cheerful shade of vibrant yellow, with too big fluorescent orange webbed feet and cartoonish beak. The alarm it admitted was something between a garbage truck backing up, and that of a cat being hit by a car (which was due to my endearing 'taps' I gave it daily).

It would have already been pulverized if it weren't for the fact that my best friend had oh-so-lovingly bought it for me last Christmas (and maybe the fact that he daily checks to make sure it still sits securely on my two drawer nightstand). He 'claimed' it was because I always made him late for school, by never being ready when he came to pick me up. I 'claim' it was my payback for writing various naughty images and words on his face while he was passed out on my floor, the first night he had ever gotten extremely drunk. I then proceeded to take pictures of my artistic work, which I just so happened to share with his brothers the next day. Ah, memories.

I thought it was a fair trade to be tortured every morning, at exactly 7:45, by the abomination, because I knew I had the upper hand located securely in computer file 'BWAHAHAHA.imgdocx'. An upper hand I had promised to blow up in size and release on a certain someone's wedding day.

Although I would have loved to replay each image in my head, my mind was screaming at me to get out of bed, before I had Benedict Edward on my case. I knew he would be arriving in exactly 25 minutes. Edward. My best friend on Earth. No. Scratch that.

My best friend in the Universe.

I had met Edward Anthony Cullen in second grade; when he became a new addition to the miniscule population of rainy old Forks, Washington. I 'introduced' myself during a game of juvenile kiss tag, when I and another girl had pinned him down successfully and managed to plant two large and slobbery kisses on each of his cheeks. He had been furious about losing the game, even stomping his foot and storming away, but soon after forgave me. We had been inseparable since.

7:55. Flash. Beep. Flash.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. I was going to be late again.

I finally threw the blankets off of myself, and rolled out of bed. I knew I had to hurry, but my attempt of getting ready quickly was short lived when I found myself half naked and flat on my bum in the middle of my floor. Apparently I had forgotten to properly dispose of my discarded t-shirt last night, a routine I was attempting to get myself into, so I could avoid situations like this. A normal teenager could easily get away with having various piles of dirty clothes strewn across their room, however I was not normal and various piles of anything in my way ended in disaster. So therefore what passed as a normal room to most became the Amazon Forest to me.

After tying my grossly limp brown hair into a ponytail, and brushing my teeth for two minutes straight (with dentist approved Colgate!) I started to put on horribly mismatched socks, when I heard an impatient knock at the door. Even if I hadn't been expecting him, I would have known it was Edward by the distinct urgency behind his knocking. I chuckled inwardly as I knew he would be increasing the half crested moon shape on the wooden front door, because he always managed to knock precisely in the same area day after day.

At first I had contemplated letting him knock a few more times, just to see how angry he would get, and how fast (his personal record was 3 seconds, the boy was so anal about time!), but decided against it because I knew he'd have his two older brothers, Emmett and Jasper with him today.

Sighing because my stomach was growling from having fasted it for the last 10 hours (and would remain fasted because I didn't have time for breakfast), I made my way to the door. Grabbing my school bag and throwing a light jacket over my average dark washed blue jeans and white shape fit t-shirt, and slipping on a pair of safe, green flats, I opened the door, with the largest grin I could muster on my face. Of course I was met with the smug face of Edward; even at my fastest I was still late by 5 minutes.

"Late again, Swan. What, the duck not doing its job? There was also a flamboyant pink cat..e..pill...," was all he managed to get out before I silenced him with my scowl. It was his turn to break out into a wide smile, the corners of half of his mouth rising higher than the other and giving him my favourite lopsided grin. It was impossible to stay angry with him when that stupid grin was plastered on his face, or maybe it was the fact that he held a jelly filled donut wrapped in plastic, in his right hand.

It was so sad that I could be bought over so easily. But alas, I knew when I was outwitted and I backed down immediately. Taking the donut and unwrapping it, I said a quick thanks than sank my teeth into the jelly goodness, as we started for the car.

"I was able to hide one for you before Emmett woke up and demolished the whole box. And when I say the whole box, I mean I had to remind him that just because cardboard is covered in powdered sugar doesn't mean it's digestible," He laughed softly, obviously reminiscing about the sight of Emmett's eating frenzy. I tried to picture it in my head, but only came up with the idea of a pig's trough, and ended up almost choking on part of my donut. Edward looked at me alarmingly, knowing my record with having to go to the ER, and tried to assess how he could help. I waved him off, having coughed through it, and opened the door to his 2005 silver Volvo. His pride and joy. His child. His second-to-me best friend. I was okay with it as long as I still reigned supreme. Ha, take that car.

As I buckled myself in I felt a huge hand smack the back of my head gingerly, then a low chuckle erupt from behind me.

"Hi Auntie Em. Hi Jasper," I said without looking back. Emmett was the oldest of the Cullen brothers, and the most immature. He had been adopted as a baby, two months before Mrs. Cullen had found out she was pregnant with Jasper. Shortly after giving birth to Jasper, she became pregnant with Edward, having wanted all three children to be close in age. Mrs. Cullen assured me that if she had known what her three sons would be like when they reached two and wanted to smear their poop on the walls, she would have waited years between Jasper and Edward. Fortunately for me, she hadn't.

Emmett was the largest of the three, and sometimes he reminded me of a gorilla (especially while eating a banana!). His hair was dark and curled at the ends, and his eyes were a very lively blue. Jasper was tall and fairly muscular, with wispy golden hair that mimicked his father Carlisle's perfectly. His eye colour however was the exact same hazel as his mother's. Edward was also tall, with major permanent bed head that was a bizarre shade of auburn, and shined bronze in the sun. He had inherited this colour, along with his emerald green eyes from his great-grandmother Elizabeth Masen, whom was a bitter old lady that constantly reminded me that 'proper' young women should wear dresses, and not spit.

Dresses.

Ew.

The Cullen family had become like a second family to me. Since my parents divorced when I was younger, I always lacked the certain togetherness that came with families, so the Cullen's had tried as hard as possible to include me in their various activities (Except bowling. Bowling was something I was never allowed to be included in again. But to my credit, Jasper's foot healed very quickly).After my mother had left, I had been shipped off to her in Phoenix almost every holiday and through most of the summer. This continued until I was 10 and started complaining that they should just bubble wrap me, place a large packing sticker on my forehead, and then I would be like actual cargo. Now, I stayed mostly in Forks, taking two weeks in the summer to go and visit my mom in Arizona.

My life felt stable now, as Esme (Edward's mom), had helped me transition from little girl, to young woman, when my mom hadn't been able to be there. The Cullen's were the family I craved for when I was younger, and over the years I had grown to see them as my family, and I'm sure they saw me the same way.

I was jerked out of my day dreaming state by a slap on the thigh. I looked over to see Edward eyeing me with speculation. I let out a muttered 'abuse', to which he gave me a childish pout, and got out of the car, almost tripping over my legs as I did so.

That's when the cackling began. I knew exactly who it had come from without having to look over. Of course _she_would have found it hilarious if I had fallen. _She_with the high pitched laugh that would have made any dog howl in pain. _She_ who had hated me for as long as I could remember. _She_ who made every effort possible to throw in jabs my way. By _she_, I mean Lauren Mallory.


	3. Chapter 2

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This is a new chapter...I'm not quite sure if I'm going to continue the story because no one really seems interested in it...So if you want me to continue it...Let me know and I will!

(AND PLEEEEEEEEASEEEEEEEE dont be discouraged by the prologue...It's all a little foreshadowing ...and you might be surprised to where it leads!)

I no own.

**Chapter 2**

My day was officially sucking already. Just after recovering from my near fall getting out of Edwards car, I thought I could prove myself capable of walking; unfortunately the conspiring universe had something else in store.

Next thing I know, I'm flat on my face in the middle of the parking lot. Oh cruel, cruel world.

Of course this made Lauren, and her brainless monkeys (you know, the people she calls friends), start a new round of jeers.

Even above all the uproar, I heard Lauren's distinct nasally voice shrill,

"Hey Bella! Walk much?" As she strode past me.

Sigh.

Lauren Mallory. She was only a baby step behind the duck alarm clock, in the 'greatest annoys of my life' contest. Our rivalry had started back in grade 1, when I accidentally fell and spilled my red paint over her oh-so-fashionable Minnie Mouse sneakers. She wasn't a forgiving person, and apparently she was capable of long-holding grudges.

I could sum Lauren up in two whole words; garden tool. (Snicker.)

(Oh yeah, did I mention she looked at Edward as if he were filet mignon.)

Since Lauren seemingly had forgotten to pay her brain bill for oh, say her entire life, it seemed pointless to throw a comeback at her -because she most likely wouldn't understand it, which would take away my glory.

So I thought about making a run, err walk, for the hills just to save myself the embarrassment of today, but I knew Edward wouldn't have allowed me.

Something about how he thought attending school was important...

"Bella."

"Bellllla.."

"BELLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAA!!"

Edward's voice was agitated now.

"Huh?"

"People are starting to stare."

Oh right, still on the pavement.

Edward extended a hand, that stupid grin back on his face. Of course he found my clumsy condition hilarious.

Jerk.

"Bella, I think we need to invest in some knee and elbow pads for you. What do you say?" His voice was amused, as I'm sure images of me with protective gear on popped in and out of his mind. Likewise images were popping into mine, only they were protective gear for Edward's 'southern' regions, as I'm sure he would very soon need.

"Hurry up Twinkle toes, before we're late."

Very, very soon.

I hoped he could feel the contentment rolling off of me.

But I couldn't be so lucky, since that stupid mocker just grinned at me. He was lucky he had that grin going for him. And maybe those dimples too...

I'd forget it just this once...But only this once!

I brushed myself off as we headed toward the back entrance to the main Forks High School building. Another horrible start, to a horrible day, in my second last horrible year.

At least I only had one minor run in with a door (in which I was victorious), before making it to my locker, Edward closely in tow and telling me something about watching movies at his house tonight. Unfortunately my mind was trying to focus on not tripping over myself, to actual get the finer points of his rambling.

"I thought since you made me painfully sit through the horrible movie 'Turner and Hooch' for the twentieth time that we-"

"It totally isn't horrible! It's HEARTBREAKING Edward. You act so macho, but the tears ALWAYS start in your eyes when Hooch dies. Man up."

"You are delusional and obviously have vision issues; my eyes did not tear at all. They were merely watery last time because-"

"Yuh, huh. This should be good."

"Shush. They were tearing because-"

"Uh huh, always a because isn't there?"

"Ugh! I swear you talk only to hear the sound of your voice," He sighed dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air, mocking surrender.

"Sure Edward, change the subject!" I giggled, mimicking his arm throwing.

"Sheesh guys, are we back in kindergarten or what? By all means continue though, I like to hear a little friendly banter so early in the morning."

We had gotten so caught up in bickering; we hadn't noticed our tiny friend leaning casually against the lockers close to mine.

Alice Brandon was our third party in crime. She was tiny to the extreme, all her features perfectly in tune with her petite frame. Her hair was a glossy black, which was cropped shorter in the back and spiked. Her eyes a bluish grey colour, which she liked to emphasize with touches of black eye liner.

If I could compare Alice's personality to anything in the world, it would have been a Chihuahua that had just finished eating a whole bag of chocolate covered espresso beans.

(Snort.)

I had met her back in ninth grade, when she had come up to me as if we had been friends for years and played twenty-one questions about Jasper. She thought he was 'absolutely adorable' and wasn't shy about her outward affections. Lucky for her, she suit Jasper's studious, quiet nature perfectly. They had been together ever since, and were one of those couples you secretly hated to the core just because they were absolute for each other. They _completed_ one another.

I nearly tossed the contents of my stomach when they went into their 'relationship' mode.

Revolting.

_Utterly_ revolting.

Ahh speaking of the blessed couple. My eyes automatically focused on something in the horizon as I saw out of the corner of my eye, Alice nearly tackling Jasper as he came to walk her to class.

I would never understand Alice's genetic make-up. She was like the 8th wonder of the New World. How a 95 pound petite something was able to move a 170 pound muscular something so easily was beyond my thinking realm.

Oh well, best not to over exert the brain before school even started.

"Bye Bella, see you at lunch. Try your best to not hurt anybody today. I don't think Coach Clapp would appreciate it if you took out his other knee with the soccer ball again," Edward smugly grinned at me as he gathered his stuff for his first class, English.

"That was a onetime occurrence I'll have you know Cullen. Most of the class has learned to duck if I'm in 3 feet of any gym equipment. And if you happen to forget, I'm not allowed within 100 yards of the soccer field again."

With that, I headed off gym.

Ahh, gym.

My kryptonite.

* * *

Gym had somehow managed to pass without incident (which may have been due to the fact that the teacher had told me I looked a little pale today, and that maybe I should sit out. Of course I knew this was only because today was a soccer day), as did the rest of my morning.

I left English and bee-lined it to the cafeteria. I immediately spotted Edward sitting at the far back left of the large rectangular room, a tray filled with food for two.

My lopsided smile spread across his face as I approached.

"Hey Swan, I see no new bruises. How'd you manage that one?"

"Maybe I was able to actually participate without disaster today." That seemed like a reasonable lie.

"He made you sit out today, didn't he?" Cue smug Edward grin.

I pretended to have become suddenly interested in the food he had placed in front of me, so that I wouldn't have to answer. He already knew what the answer was, and I was too proud to give him the satisfaction of hearing it out loud. Lucky me, he was too distracted to argue my silence, as the rest of our 'posse' came to join us.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie, all sat down simultaneously -filling out the rest of our table. I gave a quick greeting to each of them, then started to pick through the lunch that Edward had picked out for me. A ham sandwich, veggies, and chocolate milk. It was such a little kid lunch, but I loved it! Eating always gave me a reason for not inputting into conversationgs because since Emmett and Rosalie had started to date, I mostly stayed quiet at lunch now.

Rosalie was a person who belonged on European runways. She had long, silky blonde hair, and an almost regal presence about her. For some reason, Rosalie and I had never 'clicked'. I had always had the fleeting suspicion that it was because I could care less about my appearance, while it was Rosalie's whole life. Like right now, she was checking her lipstick in the reflective back of a spoon.

Ahh Rosalie, vanity is thy name.

I drifted in and out of the others conversation, catching something about how Emmett thought that 'adversity' was a school in which you go to learn about advertising.

"See Edward-o, I'm not a complete idiot." Emmett cockily said, as he had just finished feeding us useless information about the oxygenating of blood.

"You're right Em-N-Tine, you aren't a complete idiot. There are parts that are missing. This for one," Edward quipped, pointing to his head.

However Emmett was too caught up in watching Rosalie fix her close fitting top to acknowledge Edward's jab at him. Just like Alice and Jasper, they too were the perfect couple in their own realm. Emmett liked cars, Rosalie liked cars. Emmett liked baseball, Rosalie liked baseball. Emmett liked staring at Rosalie, Rosalie liked staring at Rosalie.

They were entirely devoted to each other, and flawlessly in sync with one another.

Again, with the revolting-ness of it all.

I was thoroughly glad when the bell rang, and I didn't have to deal anymore with happy couples.

I had biology next, my favourite and only class with Edward.

* * *

My favourite part of biology was Edward-watching. While he actually paid attention (coughteacherspetcough), I noticed every miniscule movement he made. It was something I had started to do back in 9th grade.

Back when I first started to notice the changes in his body.

Back when I did it just out of appreciation of the male specimen.

It was no secret that Edward was a good looking boy, err man, and I knew I wasn't the only one who liked to Edward-watch. The others just didn't do it as well as I did it.

Ha. I never got caught.

However, my staring intentions had changed over the last couple of years. Now that I fully understood that each of us has our own agenda's, I always secretly wondered what my best friend's was. So I stared, I maybe even took mental notes of my discoveries.

I was able to come up with seven different, distinctive 'Edwards' (he was a whole lot of nut to fit in one case). I so cleverly named them; Bashful, Doc, Mopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and Sleazy.

Bashful was shy Edward. When he caught a girl's eyes unnecessarily raking over his body in a nod of appreciation, he blushed. I'd seen it so many times that I could pinpoint the exact sequence of events and reactions down to the seconds. _Stare_. **Caught**. **Blush**. **Look** **down**. **Smug Edward smile**.

Doc equalled smartness. Edward was, by definition, an extremely smart person. He was like a sponge for knowledge, constantly soaking up and retaining any information he learned.However, Edward knew Edward was smart which is why Edward thought it was okay for Edward to be arrogant. I, of course, made it my duty to knock him down a few notches from time to time.

Mopey happened when Edward didn't get his own way. He moped, and moped and got a little angry, then moped just for the sake of moping. His shoulders hung forward, his brow creased, his mouth corners turned down. It was so heart retching to see him that way, everyone around him started to mope. A moping epidemic is how I liked to view it.

Grumpy was my least favourite (obviously). Unfortunately, as of late, it seemed to be the most dominate Edward. I could always tell when Grumpy was about to visit. It always started with the narrowing of his eyes. They became pins, capable of gouging craters in any part of you. Then the tense shoulders followed. They were a special tense shoulder. They rolled back, like a lioness preparing for a kill. It was a very defensive stance, and it almost made me want to cringe back from him. Almost. This was usually followed by a stiff locked jaw, or an extremely menacing voice. He had never aimed his full grumpy specifically at me yet. Thankfully.

Happy.

_Exaggerated sigh._

Happy was Prince Charming in the flesh. Happy Edward was someone that any woman (and many men) could fall in love with. His care free musical laugh, childlike giddiness, absurdly adorable smile. It was contagious.

_That _was my best friend.

Sleepy was funny Edward. Or funny just to me, Edward. He mostly entered this state when I forced him (yes forced) to watch chick flicks with me (then made him swear to secrecy that he wouldn't tell Alice that I was watching chick movies without her, mostly because Alice associated girly movies with makeovers, which I associated with society excepted torture). As the movies progressed, he slowly started to slip into a low functioning state. I had the slight suspicion that he had trained his eyes to remain focused on the television, while his brain had been far off in never-never land.

Essentially, he was only a step up from being asleep, and his reaction time decreased dramatically. This was my favourite time to 'bring him down a notch'. I could easily make fun of him, and his comebacks didn't come out as quickly. It made me feel superior, which I sort of liked.

Lastly was Sleazy.

Ugh.

Sleazy was Edward's alter ego. Now, although Sleazy came out very gentlemanly-like to most, I knew different. Sleazy was what Edward used to get what he wanted, and by all means, Sleazy worked very well. The not-too-much-teeth perfect smile, the bare-your-soul eyes, the all-too-sweetness of his voice. Oh, he was VERY good at being Sleazy. It made me sick, since I seemed to be the only one who was able to conquer such unfair militant tactic. Well me, and maybe Emmett too.

I had learned to love (as a friend, I tried to assure myself) all of Edward, which made it seem like having seven best friends.

However, through all of the staring, I had found myself growing oddly confused.

I couldn't understand how I deserved a person like Edward as my friend.

He was.._captivating_.

And I, I was not.

I knew I took for granted what Edward's friendship had done for me. He kept back the shell that I tried to form around myself, a shell which I would have encased myself long ago in, if not for him.

I also knew that my feelings for Edward had been on a borderline for the last 3 years. They bordered the transparent line between friend love and love love.

A line I knew I was slowing inching across.

* * *

Oh yeah, I changed a little formatting, because when I went back to read it I realized I had put some extra spaces in things I didn't want spaced...And sorry for all of the fragment sentences...I'm working through a bad head cold and I just wanted to post this because I'm impatient like that..


	4. Chapter 3

Sorry it's taken me so long to post something...Since I started to feel better, I've been making up for lost time. But yeah..this is chapter 3, but it's really only part of it...

Oh yeah sorry it's all drawn out again, but that's just how I write. Can't help it. More of the characters will come into it soon..I promise...

But there will still be a lot of Bella thinking...but that's really just me thinking! I like to think. So I put it into Bella's character a lot.

THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH FOR THOSE WHO REVIEWED! I probably wouldn't have continued if you didn't review. Because of your reviews, I posted part of one of the upcoming chapters at the end (this will happen in a couple of chapters...and yes, I write backwards...Because it's how I'm able to fill things in)

So...Enjoy!

I don't own nothing. All characters are the rights of the actual author - Stephenie Meyers.

P.S I didn't do a lot of editing in this chapter...so sorry for things that seem a little weird.

**Chapter 3:**

Biology ended with Mr. Banner giving us a whole chapter of our text to read, plus 16 questions to answer. I knew half of us wouldn't do the homework (because Mr. Banner didn't check it), but for the ones like Edward, it was a necessity.

Smart dedicated people.

_Ugh_.

Silently sighing, I got up from my seat and waited for Edward to do the same. To my surprise however, I saw that Edward was talking to our classmate Jessica Stanley-who was also an avid member of Lauren's brainless monkey posse. She was asking him for help in regards to the write up of a lab we had just done, saying she 'like didn't know where to like start.' Her lack of a vocabulary made me shudder.

I couldn't wait to see the annoyed expression on her face when Edward declined her offer, as I knew he would. He had to realize she was just asking him for help so she would have an excuse to ogle him up close without looking psychotic. Ha, it would look sooo good on her when he turned her-

"Sure Jessica, I'll help you out."

WHAT?!

I let out a gargled cough of shock, which caught the attention of both of them. Edward gave me a worried glance (he probably thought I was choking, which happens all too often with me), while Jessica shot me a nasty glare.

My cheeks went all kinds of red, as my head went down automatically.

Ooops.

Luckily they soon realized there was nothing wrong, and turned back towards each other- Jessica's disgustingly fake, simpering smile returning.

"I thought that maybe we could like, get together at my house or yours, say tonight?" Ahh Jessica, nice try, but tonight was mine and Edward's movie-

"Tonight sounds fine; you can come over to my house after supper if you want." Edward replied casually. I was surprised that the figurative slap across my face hadn't caught their attention. Apparently it only deafened me with its sound.

However I was quickly snapped out of my shocked mental state, when the sound of what I would imagine a piglet being trampled on would sound like.

Jessica _squealed_. Like a _pig_.

I think even Edward had to try very hard to suppress a shudder this time. Ha. Served him right.

"Oh okay Edward! What time is good for you?!"

Never Edward, ANSWER NEVER. My mind was silently screaming at him.

"Six sound good?" He looked nervous now, like he was suddenly regretting saying yes to her.

Good, I hoped he suffered.

"Oh yes Edward, six sounds great!!" Her enthusiasm was nauseating.

Edward scribbled down his address and cell phone number (which he reminded her plenty of times to only call if she couldn't make it, or was having problems finding his house), gave her a quick 'see you later' than headed out the door with me.

"So Edward, feeling alright?" I asked casually enough when we were nearing our lockers.

"Uh, yeah. Should I not be?" He was trying to avoid any Jessica-related conversation, I was sure of it.

"Oh, I was just wondering, you know, if there was a chance you had a high fever that would explain your DELUSIONAL BEHAVIOUR!" My voice peeked here, but I wasn't quite finished yet and I smacked him on the shoulder with my biology binder's ruler. "Really Edward, agreeing to help Jessica. HAVE YOU GONE NUTS?! You would get more comprehension out of lawn furniture! AND we were supposed to have a movie night tonight! Remember about that?"

"Bella-"

Smack.

"Bella enou-"

Smack. Smack.

"Damnit Bella, stop it!" SMACK SMACK SMACK.

His hand's came up defensively over his chest, as he grabbed the ruler out of my hand and held it above his head, away from my feeble attempts to get it back.

"Have you finished your little spastic conniption yet? Are you going to let me speak?!" I stayed quiet, and let him finish. "It's the fifth time she's asked me, and every time I make up an excuse. So I figured that if I agree to help her this one time, that I can continue to make up excuses therefore after." He was smug about this, thinking it was great logic. But I knew how the female brain worked, and this would only entice Jessica more.

"Edward, did you get tired of thinking and is that why you came up with that HORRIBLE conclusion?"

"Ouch Bella, that's low." He feigned being hurt by the comment.

"Just be careful tonight, knowing Jessica she'll try to steal a lock of your hair and grow an Edward-in-a-jar or something. Oh yeah, talking about tonight again, what happened to us watching movies? I was sorta, maybe, kinda excited to see what stupid action movie you picked out this time."

"Bella, like I'd believe that. I think I need to give you remedial lying lessons because you suck at it. "

Blah blah blah. Of course I was lying, and I was (possibly) glad that I didn't have to sit through four hours of plot-less action films.

"However, I thought that we could get together afterwards and watch my movie." He said after a brief pause. I knew he was thinking what I was thinking, and this was my consequence for making him watch 'chick' flicks.

"OK fine. I'll come over after, but I don't want to hear ANY whining about how your head hurts from having to be exposed to the stupidity which is Jessica. Deal? "

I thought my conditions sounded reasonable.

"I promise, I'll suck it up and take the torture like a man. Scouts honour!" He crossed his hand over his heart, a lively smile on his lips.

"Good. I'll see you at your car after school then." I snatched my ruler out of his now lacking hand and gave him one final smack before getting out my books for my next class.

He gave me a quick pat on top of the head (an 'affectionate' gesture he had started to do when we were kids, after I had split my hand open and wouldn't stop crying) then headed off for his own class.

* * *

Over the next two hours, I had grown increasingly agitated for some unbeknownst reason.

Although I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I had my last class with Jessica.

I had never been an overly morbid kind of a person (except for the occasional gore-fest), but I planned a thousand different ways to severely hurt Jessica in the span of an hour.

Her constant chatter about Edward had nearly sent me over the edge. Only someone of her desperation would willing admit they were too stupid to start the world's easiest lab (it was about genetics and mutations, ironically enough) by themselves, and needed to ask for help, and be proud to get a pity study date.

She came very close to being down one hand when she had the audacity to pull out the slip of paper that Edward had written his number and address on, and wave it in the air, over her 'audience' of female spectators.

They eyed it like a hyena would eye a bloody piece of raw meat.

It physically made me sick to my stomach, but I couldn't quite figure out why.

I knew that most of Fork's female population were lined up for a chance at a date with Edward because he was the classic example of what most women wanted in a man. He was smart, handsome, funny and he came from a wealthy 'all-American', family.

However, Edward had never really had an actual girlfriend before. Sure, he'd gone on dates (which he always called me after he was home, to make fun of the girls), and in the seventh grade he was heartbroken when the only girl he had a crush on moved away, but it still wasn't _anything_ that meant _some__thing._

I could tell he was secretly a hopeless romantic at heart, and he sincerely wanted to find the right girl which is why he hesitated on dating random females. But I tried not to think about this much, as it left me feeling oddly panicky.

I reasoned with myself that it was because I was scared he would find the wrong woman, and she would break him. Or this is what I explained to the devil on my shoulder which was telling me different...

Damn subconscious.

I did what I did best and ignored it, my anger at Jessica returning as I managed to make it through class without throwing my book at her.

I stomped, loudly, out of the classroom before making my way to Edward's car. He had already started it (and was the only one in it, as Emmett and Jasper had went on a double date with Rosalie and Alice, who were dying to see the newest romantic comedy in theatres), and music was blaring loudly from the windows.

Ahh Emo tunes, just what I needed right now.

He gave me a small smile, and then left it at that. Edward was perceptively good at reading my emotions, and he knew when it was best to just stay quiet.

Our car ride home remained like this, as I chose to just stare out the window, lost in ridiculous thoughts.

"So, I'll see you tonight?" He unsurely asked me, as we neared my house.

"Yeah, I'll be over at 8, so you better have her kicked out by then or else there will be consequences." Very, very dire consequences.

"I promise she'll be gone. I'll even disinfect where she sat, just in case her stupidity is contagious." He gave me his goofy grin then, his hidden attempt at an apology for agreeing to help Jessica instead of watching movies with me.

"I'll keep you on your word Cullen. See you later. Oh yeah, you better save some of your mom's baking for me too! Emmett said she had made oatmeal cookies last night."

He laughed and nodded then waved at me before speeding away.

I stood there and watched him go, a knot tying itself securely around my stomach.

I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling sick. Why I suddenly ached all over, while my head pounded with such intensity.

Why instantly all I could see was _green_.

* * *

All in favour of the creation of Edward-in-a-jar say I.

But yeah, that's it for this chapter.

I'll probably have another one posted tomorrow night, or Thursday during the day.

I just wanted to stop it there or else it would have been extremely long, and since this isn't going to be a very long story (or so that's how I've planned it so far) I wanted to break up the longer bits. However, I did promise to give you a sneak peek of what's to come so here it is!

_"Bella, I'm just going to go and get changed in the bathroom. I want you to put on these clothes, then not to move anywhere. Got it?"_

_He spoke to me as if I was a child, making sure that I understood perfectly. Of course I understood; I was drunk, not stupid. I also understood that the last was a rhetorical question._

_I did what he told me to do._

_Well actually I tried to do what he told me to do._

_I had managed to somehow undo my jeans and I slipped them off, and to put on Edward's t –shirt (albeit it being inside out)._

_But then __came__ the pants. They were a whole other story._

_I tried to put my feet into the top of the pyjamas, but since when did I have an extra foot attached to my left leg? I tried the first foot I had seen, and that was my fatal error. __Next thing I knew I was on my butt on Edward's bedroom floor, a loud 'thud' resounding around the room._

_Edward came rushing in immediately, and saw me lying on the floor with his pants lying beside me._

_I, of course, was laughing hysterically again. Edward's expression had been hilarious when he saw me._

_Maybe it was because I was __laying__ spread eagle, maybe it was because he had never seen me drunk before..._

_Maybe it was because I was wearing the matching underwear to__ my lacy red bra. __Matching__ red lacy __thong __underwear._

_But alas, I couldn't even save my modesty then, and it didn't register in my mind to cover up._

_"Bella are you, uh, ok?"__ He sounded embarrassed, and his eyes averted again. __Such a gentleman._

_I couldn't answer him though, I was still having fits of laughter (it was a very fortunate thing that no one was home). __Through my tearing eyes, I saw him shake his head, but with the tiniest trace of a smirk on his face._

_"Bella, what in the world am I going to do with you? Why are you on the floor?"_

_"I'm having a no pants party Edward! __Wanna__ join?! Take '__em__ off!" I giggled, not quite sure what had possessed me to say that (but I bet it had something to do with the alcohol in my system)__. I tugged at the bottom of the__ pants__ he was wearing__ suggestively._

_He couldn't help himself then, and he broke out into a chorus of laughter. I wasn't sure if it was because of the hidden proposition I had just made him, or the fact he thought I was insane._

_I was betting on it being the latter._

There you go...thats whats to come! Although this is subject to some changing, but I'm sure it'll stay mostly the same.


	5. Chapter 4

Sorry its taken sooooooo long for me to update! I wasn't home for like 5 days straight, then I had something really horrible happen and yeah, it's just been a whole lot of drama for me right now!

Edward's POV is all hush hush for this story right now...It'll become clear towards the end!

However, I AM writing an Edward POV story.

Although this one will be a pretwilight vampire story (mostly because they are my favourite ones to read, so I want to try my hand at it).

The ALL human story line was really just a starter for me, because they seem like the easiest to write.

**Chapter 4**

I had to keep my mind busy.

Yes, that is what my afternoon goal was. Keep myself busy.

It was four o'clock when I had finally entered the house, as I had spent the duration of a half an hour on my front lawn after Edward had dropped me off.

I had tried to shake the discolouration out of my vision by taking in my outdoor surroundings, but I'm sure I looked like a nut case sitting on my lawn with a blank but somehow pained expression on my face.

Now, inside the house, my colour scheme had fully returned to me. Blue didn't look teal, red didn't look brown, green wasn't as vivid.

But what had come over me?

It was _Jessica_ Stanley.

Jessica _Stanley_.

No matter how I said it in my mind, it wasn't appealing in the slightest. But for some odd reason, I couldn't shake the betrayal I thought I was committing by allowing (or at least not putting up that much of a fuss) him to be alone with her. It was like I had let my defenceless cub go and rendezvous with a hungry hyena. Yes, THAT is what I felt like. Edward was a defenceless cub, while Jessica was a starved hyena. I wanted to protect him, make him not have to go through the torture of two hours alone with her, as she used ever dirty female tactic to woo him.

But I couldn't run to his rescue. My body, somehow, stayed in my house, at my kitchen counter while my hands worked slowly at cutting up a variety of vegetables. Unfortunately I hadn't been paying much attention to my chopping job, and ended up with a small nick when my hand had slipped slightly, and the sharp blade easily cut through my finger tip.

I automatically went to the first aid kit that was a stable on my kitchen wall now. Edward had taken the liberty of installing it above the wall mounted phone when Charlie, my father, had told him that we used it more than the coffee maker and toaster combined.

Damn non-clumsy men.

Just once I'd like to push them down a flight of stairs so they could see how I lived each day.

(Snicker.)

This thought greatly amused me as I quickly covered my bloody finger before the salty scent of my blood (combined with the tangy smell of green pepper) was able to make me light headed. While trying to focus on anything but the crimson liquid coming from my cut, I heard a low chuckle from the left of me, and turned to see Charlie shaking his head at me holding my finger tightly.

"Bells, we're gettin' low on bandages again. I never thought it was possible for someone to go through 100 BandAid's in one month! Do you think that the company would just send us a lifetime supply, since we seem to be their number one customer," He was laughing again.

"Not funny Dad. Edward already threatened to go and buy a thousand of boxes Hello Kitty ones of them for me."'

"Speaking of Edward, where is he and why is he not here?"

My back turned away from him then, and I mumbled a 'studying, going to his house later' response. He was quiet for a minute before heading for his sanctuary-the couch.

* * *

For the next 3 hours, I had seemed to transcend time.

I did my motherly routine normally enough. Dinner, dishes, laundry. And I had truly tried to keep my mind in a normal state, but I knew I failed miserably. My thoughts seemed to go something like this;

_Scrub dishes clean of food-_

_**Edward/Jessica.**_

_Wash soap off of dishes-_

_**Edward/Jessica.**_

_Dry dishes off-_

_**Edward/Jessica.**_

They're names were like white noise in my brain. No matter how low or disjointed the sound seemed, it was always there.

I ignored it the best that I could while I retrieved my coat and headed for the door. It was seven thirty and I knew with my driving, I would make it to Edward's at eight.

"I'll be home later Dad!" I called to Charlie while I was opening the door.

"Okay nigh- YESSSSS!!"

It was football night, I was sure of it. It was the only time that Charlie was totally unreachable. My head shook back and forth laughing, as I started for my old red truck, with the distinct feeling of a thousand butterflies flying within my stomach.

Jessica would face very bad consequences if she still occupied Edward's breathing air!

* * *

When I finally got to Edwards, I was extraordinarily happy to see that Jessica's car wasn't there, and even more exuberant that I didn't have to see her smug face tonight.

I could only imagine all the nasty things-

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

I jumped (almost literally) four feet in the air, when I saw Edward's face almost pressed into the glass of my side window. He was grinning madly. Oh how he loved to see me shaken.

Jerk.

For punishment, I may have opened my door a little more harshly than necessary and ended up hitting him hard enough to knock him back a few steps.

"Bella, that wasn't very amiable. I think you should apologize," He was pouting now.

Oops. Oh well...

"Edward, I'll apologize when you aren't such an ass!"

As I got out of my truck, I caught a strong whiff of his shirt, and almost cringed at the tacky scent that was radiating from him.

"Oh God Edward, you smell horrible! What the hell did she do, soak her clothes in Eau De Prostituée?"

"I know, I know. When she came over, I was contemplating making her sit on plastic wrap in order to avoid it seeping into the fabric of my couch. Ugh." His shoulders shuddered noticeably as he wrinkled his nose.

"Did you at least air out the living room? I don't know how I'd be able to stop myself from tossing my cookies if I have to smell it all night. Also, I think you need to change. Now." I shot him a dark look.

"Alright, alright! I'll change and open up a window whiny." He ended our little debate as we headed into his house.

"BELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Emmett sounded like a herd of buffalo coming down the stairs, giving me his best A Street Car Named Desire welcome.

"Hi Em, not trailing Rosalie tonight?"

"Nah, time of the month. I'm not allowed to be within a hundred yards of her for the next three to seven days." He told me with a look of horror plastered on his face. I had the slight suspicion that he had disobeyed this rule in the past. While starting to snicker at Emmett's response, I was abruptly cut off by Edward whispering urgently in my ear.

"Bella, you need to run to the kitchen now."

"Uh, why?" I whispered back, while Emmett gave us a quizzical look.

"It's Emmett's snack time, and you know what a cookie monster he can be."

My mouth formed a large "O" of realization and my eyes darted from the kitchen door to Emmett's face. I was calculating my chances of getting to Mrs. Cullen's oatmeal cookies before her oldest son did, and I had to admit, my chances didn't look good. However, if possible, they plummeted even more as it seemed Emmett must have recognized what I had been thinking by my facial expressions and he had booked it through the door before I could so much as move.

But damn it, I wanted one of those cookies!

Which lead to my foolish trial of running to the kitchen anyways in hopes I could at least get some cookie crumbs. But because I hadn't taken off my shoes yet my effort ended with me nose-diving into the beige ceramic tile of the foyer after tripping over my loose laces.

Edwards arms swiftly encased around my upper body as he attempted to return me to an upright position. His attempt was short lived though, since I had kept slipping on my shoe lace which was now fully exposed, and making my footwear uncomfortably tight.

Finally giving up, he set me down and began to take off my shoe, as I rubbed my now sore knees and elbows.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, will you ever be safe? Do I have to bubble wrap every surface in order to ensure you going home completely unharmed after being at my house for a couple hours?! The other night it was a stubbed toe, last week it was a bruised eye, last month it was a cracked knuckle, last year it was-"

"Okay Edward, I got it. No need to run through my various mishaps, they all seem to mesh into one after awhile anyways." I was starting to become grumpy now and to make matters worse; Emmett came through the kitchen door with _my_ plate full of cookies, and was booming out an overly obnoxious laugh.

"Ahh Bella, I _almost_ feel sorry enough for you to let you have one of these **extremely** delicious cookies." Emmett was mocking me now, through random chomps off of random cookies. "_Almost_."

"Emmett, I promised Bella a cookie and I am willing to force one away from you if necessary." Edward's hands crossed his chest, like a bratty child, however his face was all business.

"Edward, I could bench press you in my sleep." I didn't doubt that he could, and apparently neither did Edward.

"I realize that Emmett, however I happen to have some very compromising toddler bathtub pictures I came across while looking through family photos. I'm sure Rosalie would love to see how you used to like playing 'tug' boat with your-"

"Okay Edward, I give! She can have one cookie!"

"Two."

"One and a half?"

"Two."

"One and three quarters?"

"Two."

I was coming to a realization as to why Edward's parents liked to escape their house a couple of times a week (like tonight for example, where they went to dinner than a theatre production). I had a feeling this is how all of their son's arguments went. Negotiation, negotiation, negotiation. (It would make any sane person mad if they had to deal with it constantly.)

From the look of contemplating on Emmett's face, he was still deciding whether not giving up his favourite food was worth eternal ridicule from Rosalie. It would be awfully hilarious to see the look on Rosalie's face if she saw little Emmett playing with _little_ Emmett. Maybe I would have to convince Edward to make copies of this photo, for future leverage...

"Fine, I'll hand over two. I'll have you know though, that I won't be able to reach my 10 pounds of daily sugar intake because of it!" Emmett reluctantly placed two, whole cookies in my outreached hand then took (while giving Edward a 'don't you even think about asking for another one of these' looks) the rest of the plate back into the kitchen.

Victory!

"He's such a drama queen. You would swear I was trying to steal away his soul or something!" Edward said with an exasperated sigh.

"Well Edward, personally, I might be inclined to sell my soul for a batch of these cookies. They are mighty scrumptious."

"Scrumptious? What the hell have you been reading? And you would sell your soul for cookies that have raisins in them? Ew!"

"Scrumptious is a perfect adjective for these cookies! Scrumptiously delicious! It has a glorious ring to it! And stop stalling, you haven't told me how your pity study date with Jessica went." He thought he was doing a good job at distracting me and it wouldn't have surprised me if he had waxed his floor before I got there then planned me to trip in order to buy himself some time.

"Nothing happened. She came over, fawned over the house for a bit, than we sat down and I just went over a brief session of how to properly write up a lab. She was actually, surprisingly, compliant." It was all a little too rushed for my liking.

"Hmm.."

"Really Bella, I don't even think my IQ went down too drastically from being in her presence for an extended amount of time."

"That's shocking, I can be six feet away from her for less than ten minutes and feel dumber than I had been before I was near her."

"I thought that too, but she was actually alright to study with. I think most of her facade is only present in front of people."

Yeah that or she was just trying extremely hard to please him. Maybe I was underestimating her. Maybe she was putting more thought into this wooing thing then I was willing to give her brain credit for her.

Or maybe I just shouldn't be worrying about this...

But I digress; it was all white noise again.

"I was really looking for the dirt Edward, but whatever. Onward with the action film!"

* * *

By the end of the movie (Edward had put in 'Fight Club', which was one of the only action films I didn't mind, but I thought it had more to do with the hot sweaty half naked men in it), my best friend was stretched out on the couch sleeping, his bare feet resting in my lap. For my sole amusement, I slowly started to run my fingers up and down the bottom of his feet, as I knew it was his one 'weak' spot. I had to stifle a giggle as he slowly started to stir, making random 'ugh' noises in protest.

Continuing the motions, my fingers began to trail faster. His feet responded by trying to move away, but my fingers eagerly followed them.

This lasted another 30 seconds before he regained enough consciousness to throw a white suede couch cushion at my head.

"Ouch Edward! You could have chosen the lighter pillow at least."

"Don't care. Sleepy time." With that, he curled onto his other side (with his feet tucked partially up against the couch, away from my hands) and fell back asleep. For a brief moment, I contemplated curling up on the other side of the couch and sleeping there for the night, but I knew Charlie would be worried if I wasn't home when he went to work in the morning. The idea, however, was very very tempting. A little too tempting for my liking.

Reluctantly (although I blamed this on being tired) I got up and turned off the television. Then, after covering Edward with a fleece blanket, I grabbed my shoes and keys and headed out the door.

The butterflies raged against my insides again, as I gave one final glance back at my slumbering friend.

I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.

* * *

As I had predicted, my night had been nearly sleepless. My mind waged battle on my body, not letting it get the rest it desperately wanted.

Somehow though, school the next day started off fairly ordinarily. Edward, of course, drove me (in a silent car), I greeted everyone like I did normally, and even managed to appear like I was walking on a full night of sleep-which was a personal record by my standard.

My mood had been a different story however. It was typical at first, nice and calm. However it all changed in a matter of seconds.

The amount of time it took for Jessica to walk past Edward and give him an overly happy 'hi'.

The amount of time it took for Edward to return the greeting in a genuinely happy manner, and to actually _blush_ slightly.

This little of time irked me to no end. My mood responded immediately, and sky rocketed into blue.

And to make matters worse, I had been so caught up in my inner turmoil that when I turned the corner to go to class, I thought I had actually turned into the brick wall. The impact of who ever I had hit was such a force that I had knocked all of the papers out of said person's hands.

Great, another lousy start to another lousy day.

Sighing, I bent down immediately to retrieve the papers, when I realized that the, very large, person that I had run into had already beat me to it.

"I'm so sorry! I should put a sign on myself that warns everybody to stay three feet away at all times. Although most people know it here, so I'm betting you're new." I rushed through my apology. And indeed, when the stranger had stretched to his full height, I hadn't remembered seeing him before. He laughed at my response and put his hands in the air, accepting my apology.

"No worries, and I'll try to remember to avoid you in the future. You're right though, I am new."

"I thought you were. I'm Bella Swan by the way, and you are?"

"Jacob... Jacob Black."

* * *

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN...

I'm sorry to all of you who hate me for putting Jake in it, but honestly..I had to.

Adds a little spicey spicey.

But anyways...Review...


	6. Chapter 5

So here we go, another instalment! Sorry it's taken so long, my schedule was hectic! Also, I hadn't written anything much for the first couple of days because I hadn't gotten many reviews and I actually wasn't going to continue. But then a lot of people alerted and favourite and reviews my story, and so I decided I'd write this and see if people still liked it.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it was all so kind! I'm on Team Edward, but I also like me some Jacob Black (it's sort of a day to day thing). So that might make where I'm going a little bit more complicated.

Sorry for all the long paragraphs in this chapter, I sorta felt like writing some internal chatter!

I would also like to say, I'm very much a between the lines sort of writer. I'm sure once I finished the story, this will all make sense. However, it wouldn't surprise me if someone has already guessed everything! But yeah...Just keep that in mind...A lot of my writing has deeper meaning (like the fact you'll notice that she describes Jacob in greater physical detail than Edward presently)..

Onwards!

**Chapter 5**

Jacob Black..

It was one of those names that just fit its suitor perfectly. He just _was_ a Jacob in appearance. His tall frame had a triangular shape to it, broadened shoulders aligning into slimmer legs. This was topped off by shaggy hair that had grown just past his ears, and was a rich chestnut colour. His skin and eye colour, which were strangely alike, were a rustic brown colour and reminded me of pure copper in the sun. It shined and-

Oh God.

I was checking him out.

_For the last 10 seconds._

He was looking at me like I had a second head now, as I had stayed awkwardly silent while my eyes had strolled over his body. By his nervous glance at me and side step away, I imagined he was wondering if all of Forks residents were this slow or if I was just defective. However, after looking at a group of normally functioning teenagers who were a short distance away, he let out a sigh of relief at the possible realization that it was just me that was odd and not a 'small town thing'. Reality finally snapped back to me then and I casually tried to play off my delayed response by saying the first commonly normal thing that came to mind, with my eyes fixed on the floor and my cheeks painted a deep scarlet.

"Oh..ugh..Welcome to Forks Jacob. Sorry again about running into you."

"That's alright Bella, now I know someone's name here. So, in all, I guess it was nice running into you." He paused for a minute on this thought however. "Well, maybe not," He laughed as he gestured to his now dirt covered papers. "See you around."

With that he walked, with a safe distance, around me and headed toward the English classroom at the end of the hall. Only with my luck and anti-coordinated nature would I make a complete stranger question my sanity in less than a minute. Sighing, while my poor mood started to skyrocket, I dawdled my way to gym, trying to make myself optimistic about the rest of the day.

My positivism, however, was strongly being opposed by my sudden urge to attempt participating in my first class. I was sure the teacher had said it was a badminton day today, which would make it ultra possible to unleash my anger on my fellow classmates.

Me plus badminton racket plus other people was always an interesting experiment.

An experiment that I decided to embrace for once!

* * *

Apparently, my hope of the day turning out better was short lived, and I was fairly certain that I would soon explode if it didn't improve.

Gym hadn't turned out exactly how I had wanted it to. Sure, I had armed myself with an old badminton racket, but instead of waging war on my fellow classmates I ended up waging battle on myself. Now I had an awful collection of bruises ranging from light blue to deep purple, covering the greater half of my torso.

Then, in another blow to my mood, my English class consisted of writing an in class essay about our chosen career path (apparently by this time in our lives we should have thought about our future), how we planned on achieving it and an in depth analysis of why we thought it was a suitable choice for our character. I had managed to write down two sentences of my opening thesis paragraph, when my pen stopped abruptly. For two minutes, I stared at it like it was from an alien planet. Wondering why it refused to move swiftly across the paper like everyone else's was. It had chose the most inopportune moment to rebel, and it made me angry damn it!

Because of this, what was one hour, seemed like twelve. My mind had been reeling at what I should write, so much that a headache was slowly starting in the back of my skull. I was so busy making my present work, that I hadn't ever given much thought to my future. What more could I foresee in it than more bruises? This logic would have been enough for me if it wasn't for my teacher that kept telling me that we only had one year left to decide our chosen path. So I tried to get myself into the mind set, today **was** the day for firm decisions!

...Or was it?

Indecision, indecision! I spent the next fifteen minutes mulling over this and before I knew it, class was up. The teacher gave me a very disapproving look as she looked over my paper, or lack thereof, as I slipped out the door.

Now, I was sitting at my group's lunch table as Jasper (who was currently without Alice) tried to shrink me on deciding upon a possible future.

"Really, just sit down with a guidance counsellor and I'm sure they will help you decide what is best for you," Jasper's current suggestions weren't necessarily helping as of yet, however.

"Bella, stop thinking to the point of exhaustion and just follow your dreams." Lovely, it seemed to be Edward's turn to input. "Actually on second thought, maybe you shouldn't. I've heard some of your dreams before, and let me tell you, I've never laughed harder! Especially the one where you apparently thought you were naked at school and Mike Newton came up to you and-"

"Okay Edward, ENOUGH! I happen to remember that dream, and it's scarred me for life. So never, ever, mention it again. Got it?" Why would he never let that stupid dream be forgotten?! It's not my fault I tend to talk out every dream I have! Where was the justice!

"Well I might be willing to trade said memory for some incriminating files in your computer that I have yet to hack into." Oh right, there it was...

"Ha, nice try. I would go through severe levels of embarrassment in order to keep those photos safe."

Emmett took the opportunity to chide into our conversation at this moment.

"Bella, you have to show them to Rosalie! She didn't believe me when I told her about how, on Edward's chin, you drew testi-"

"Emmett...," A low snarl erupted from deep within Edward's chest, warning his older brother of the consequences of finishing his sentence.

"Em, let's leave Grumpy alone, or else he might never get drunk again! And imagine the possibilities of what else we could get pictures of if we actually planned it. Like if we invited Alice over and unleashed her makeover abilities on him. Pink hair and purple finger nails? I'm savouring at the thought!" Although I wasn't savouring at the nasty look I was getting from Edward after saying this.

"And you call yourself my best friend..." He went on to mutter a couple of non-coherent words before putting his focus back on finishing his lunch, while Emmett's beastly laugh filled the cafeteria. This earned our table a couple of curious glances from various groups of students, and an annoyed 'please keep it down' from the teacher who was monitoring.

As Emmett's echoing laughter died down, my attention turned to a bouncing head of spiked black hair which had entered the cafeteria, the person to who it belonged still hidden behind a cluster of students who had also been coming through the lunch room entrance. Within moments I saw Alice's tiny frame appear from behind the group, as she practically skipped towards us. Her eyes were exuberantly lit, and a wide grin plastered her tiny face. She was definitely happy.

**Too** happy.

This worried me greatly, since a happy Alice usually had something to do with shopping, which equalled an unhappy me because I was always forced to tag along. A wonderful plan started to form in my head, a plan of escaping before she unleashed whatever shopping excursion she had in mind this time.

It seemed too late now though, as she had quickly approached our table and buoyantly sat beside Jasper. Her smile got even wider after he gave her a quick kiss on the lips, and she had started to bounce in her seat.

"Panties on fire Alice? I'm sure Jasper might be able to help you out!" Another chorus of loud Emmett laughter erupted, as his own suggestion seemed to amuse him greatly.

Alice merely rolled her eyes, as she started to address the rest of us.

"My parents are gone away this weekend, so I'm going to have a party!! So ladies, you know what this means!"

Oh God, please don't say it!

"SHOPPPPPPPING!!"

* * *

The school day had ended unenthusiastically (which I was grateful for), and I was now waiting in the school parking lot for Alice to come out. She had made me swear that I would go clothes shopping with her and Rosalie after school, and she was quite clear that the consequences would be severe if I tried anything (like running and hiding).

This had put an even greater damper on my mind set for the day, but somehow I had passed through the rest of my classes without lashing out. Even Edward seemed to be accommodating to my sour aura, and even willingly helped me with biology (with only minor jabs). I only had one –almost- bad incident toward the end of class, which I controlled with steady breathing.

Jessica had been doing one of many gross rituals that females like to think worked to catch a man's attention. This one was especially deviant, since it was hard to completely ignore. I stealthily watched while she had done it, and I knew who it was intended for.

She gave a quick look at Edward (to make sure his attention wasn't anywhere in particular), then flipped her hair dramatically behind her back and gave it a luxurious – or what I would expect she wanted it to be, shake. After this she gave another glance back at Edward and when she caught his eye, she twisted her fingers into the bottom of her ringlets and gave a sly smile. It was revolting to watch such desperation, and it left me feeling oddly complex. Do I throw something at her, or do I point and laugh? Each would be hilarious, but I didn't need a detention on my perfect record. Plus, Edward's expression was enough for my amusement as it had been a cross between disgust and annoyed. Ahh Jessica, again with the weak attempts and how they fail!

I giggled out loud at this memory, as I still stood waiting for Alice and Rosalie to come out. Scanning the length of the parking lot, I noticed the new student from this morning. He was standing several cars away, with a group of guys who were named the 'mechanic wannabes' of our school. His head was held back, as he belted out a carefree laugh at something one of his new friends had said, and I could tell they obviously had accepted him completely into their 'group' already. My eyes continued to stare at him until I realized, embarrassingly, that he was staring back. He gave me a wide grin then, which I returned with bright red cheeks, then slipped into the car he was standing by. While watching Jacob's car leave the lot, someone clearing their throat from the left of me caught my attention.

Edward stood beside me, his eyes continued to follow my former line of vision while his hands were buried in his pockets and agitation strongly woven into his brow.

"Oh, sorry Edward, I didn't realize you were there! Something wrong? You look like you are ready to snap."

"Nothing's wrong, just thinking about daunting stuff." His hand waved it off, as he looked at me; however his response was too rushed for being the truth. I decided not to push too much on what else could be wrong, since he obviously didn't want to tell me.

"Oh, did it have anything to do with your English class? Were you made to write about a career path also?"

"Yeah, I found it annoying to have to write such a pathetic essay. I wrote six pages of nonsense about following in my father's footsteps and becoming a surgeon. Then in my conclusion, I decided to add a personal perspective on warfare and how it wouldn't surprise me if the world was destroyed before I could accomplish such prestige. I love being a pessimist!"

"Well then Edward, can I borrow some CD's?" His eyes questioned me, at the lack of relevancy in my question.

"Bella, what in the world does that have to do with me being pessimistic?"

"Because you wouldn't expect them back, of course."

"Ha, ha Bella. So clever you are." His head shook back and forth as he laughed musically. Well, at least his face didn't seem aggravated anymore. Rosalie and Alice finally approached us then, the latter nearly hopping with each step.

"Hey Bella! Put a smile on! We promised not to torture you too much tonight! Hey Edward, sorry we have to leave so quickly, but we want to make it to Port Angeles soon." She gave us a happy grin, and then grabbed my hand to lead me to her car. Giving Edward a quick 'goodbye', I followed my tormentor compliantly.

Off to another night of cruel and unusual punishment!

* * *

So yeah, this one sucks I know..But I had to leave it here! I'll try to write the next chapter quicker...But it will be an attempt!

10 points of you who guess right about the actual reason as to why Edward was agitated!

Next scene will be shopping with Alice...A true adventure! I might even throw in some drama and a wet dream.

Who knows?


	7. Author's Note

Sorry, not an update.

Because of the out poor of people asking me to continue writing, I've decided to. I just don't know when the update will be - maybe when I get some inspiration. Haha.

But anyways, I have written a new fiction, which I'm happier with. And it should be easier to write, as it's Pretwilight and follows canon and such. But I'll try to update this story soon!


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